Anger, The Most Misunderstood Emotion! An Angry Man Can Move a Mountain

Due to the established social norms and popular culture, anger is often associated with aggression and violence and has acquired a negative reputation compared to other emotions like happiness, hope, and enthusiasm. But a little introspection will reveal that anger is completely natural and usually healthy emotion. Anger is triggered when we face obstacles or individuals that block our needs. It prepares us to deal with the problems in our path by mobilizing resources, increasing vigilance and by facilitating the removal of obstacles so that so that we get where we want to be.

Anger, good or bad solely depends upon whether we control our anger or anger controls us. The truth is, there are plenty of instances when we are right to be angry. For example, anger is necessary when we face injustice or exploitation. It is an obvious response when you treat people around you with respect and in a fair way but don’t get it in return. It is anger that helps us to take stand against the injustice and oppression prevalent in society. Anger provides us insight into our faults and shortcomings and aids self-improvement. The problem, however, arises when anger grows out of proportion. It is then that it impedes our decision-making ability and leads to serious problems in our family, relationships and workplace and at times leads to violence and destruction.

Now comes the million-dollar question – How to deal with anger? Basically, there are three ways to channelize our anger. The first one is by suppressing it. This happens when you hold your anger and stop thinking about it. But this unexpressed anger can create other problems like hypertension, high blood pressure, and even depression. It may turn you into a cynical and sarcastic person. Sarcasm is the most common expression of unexpressed emotions.

The second way is by calming yourself not just by controlling your outward behavior but also by controlling your inward responses and letting the feeling subside. But at times, this leads to inaction out of the fear of getting you angry or others getting angry at you.

The Final way is expressing your anger appropriately. It means you may express your feelings in an assertive manner but not in an aggressive manner. This allows you to be respectful of yourself and others. It is the healthiest way to express anger. In the name of managing anger, we end up holding it in or avoiding associated feelings. This way we create apathy and indifference among common people and produce mere followers. But as a progressive society, we need angry but thoughtful citizens who are leaders in the true sense and are able to lead society and bring positive changes and not just deaf and dumb followers. Since expressing anger appropriately is a learned behaviour, we can make each and every member of our young generation assume the role of a true leader of tomorrow by;

• Letting them know that anger is normal and should be expressed appropriately.
• Teaching them and allowing them to express anger in an appropriate way.
• Explaining the difference between anger and aggression.
• Making them aware that violence and aggression will have consequences.
• Treating them with respect.
• Encouraging honest and open communication.
• Teaching them different ways of calming and soothing.
• This we can achieve not by preaching but by walking the path ourselves.

           “ We have to be angry with the right person 
                to the right  degree and at the right time and
                   for the right purposes and in the right way” 
                                                    ~ Aristotle

~ Ajay Tyagi